Hap-py Father's Day~!

... To my mostly child-free readerbase! Hurrhurr. ^-^ Still, this is one of those holidays I really enjoy celebrating anyways, because it's secular and reminds me of all the wonderful times I had growing up with my Dad. Holidays that remind me to thank the people who made me who I am--well, to be thankful at *all*--really ring true with me. And it is so, so hard to be a parent. Especially my parent. Haha...

In any case, after I got Generations I put these together, to show just how good a dad Brad is despite his Grumpy, Horrible Sense of Humor'd, Nerdy self. Kinda like my own Dad. <333 (Also as an excuse to use these pose packs... >.> )

Engage!

Yay for happy family... ^-^ Definitely the only one in Desperate Sims right, now, heh!

Also, here's some shots of the renovations I made various places with the help of Gen's new stuff (wee!):

You guessed it--Margo's bedroom! Soo much puuurrpple....

Korva's 'Deep Sea' nursery... ^-^

You've seen this slightly before, but, this is the patio I added on to the side of the house

And some additions/changes to the back yard--bye bye, makeshift treehouse~

Veronica and Penelope Grant's bedroom--not sure how much it'll appear in the Series, but wanted to show it anyways

Obie kabie, that's all the pics I have for now!

NOTE: Desperate Sims just has *two* episodes left to go up before this season is finished--when that will happen I'm not sure, though, as I've been really busy this last week and now that I have Generations I am sooo distraacctted... It'll be soon, though! :D

Cheers!

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The Story

Being inspired by the many others out there doing it, I decided to make a playlist for myself; I already made one for DS, and for and Margo (which is on her blog), but this one is more just about me... And I say 'about', because the original order of the songs sort of tell a story about the last few years of my life.

broken road

the story of my path to him<3

Beautiful Disaster	i started out a mess, confused
Losing My Religion	and i lost all my hope and my faith
All For Love	while a mess, i fell dangerously in love
Baby, Please Don't...	but he pushed and he pulled and pushed and pulled
Right Here	so many times i didn't know how to stop waiting for him to return
What I Would've Give	but when he never did, i never though i'd heal
Broken	somehow, in the midst of it all, i found someone to cling to
Here With Me	and he turned my world upside down from within
Near to You	it took time to heal the scars, to forget the boy who'd made me this way
Kiss from a Rose	and yet, our first kiss changed my entire future
Swing Life Away	and though we don't have much
Livin' On a Prayer	and though we pry won't ever have much
The Story	i am here, now, because of him. <3

All of my love. <3

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Tumbletumbletumble

Back when Blogger was down for more than 24 hours (and rolled back a ton of comments, and lost people some really important drafts they were working on--ohmanIamsosorrystillJennifer <3), I gave in and made one of those 'Tumblr' things. Considering I already have this blog I didn't really need it, but ya know. I wanted it. So there! ;D

Check it out!
http://kaleekalo.tumblr.com/

I'll be using it for all sorts of things, but teaser screenshots from upcoming posts, WIPs, and random fun Kane screenshots have already made their way onto it--so if that's the sort of thing you'd be interested in seeing, check it out!

As for what'll happen to *this* blog... I think in the next week or so I'm going to give it a bit of a makeover, and then use it more for longer, and possibly more RL related things--which means it might start collecting dust, and/or might not be too interesting to any of you. I'll probably still post some Sims stuff on here too, but only really the stuff I feel like I need comments on; tumblr is comment free, which is pretty refreshing.

I really don't mind; I also like the way tumblr doesn't make me feel guilty for posting 20+ things a day, and not including filler text. I don't know why, but Blogger makes me feel like I have to write... probably from spending a year staring at this box every time I'm working on a Desperate Sim's post. ;)

PS: I've also  been using Twitter a ridonkulous amount lately, so if you've got one... Add meh! :D

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A Small Thanks

First, I wanted to say thank you to everyone who's randomly sent me Store gifts lately. I rarely get the funds to spend on such 'frivolous' things such as Simpoints, so it makes me very happy when people think of me when deciding how to spend theirs. Won't list them out, because there's been numerous--even some from people I don't recognize--the last few weeks, nor do I like pointing fingers, but I feel weird not expressing my gratitude somehow.

I also want to toss a small thank you out again to everyone who takes the time and read and comment on my story. I won't lie--I'm writing it for myself, not for you guys--but the many kind words I recieve do far more than inspire me to continue writing, and for that I'm grateful.

I'll take any small measure of happiness I can find, with warmth in my heart. <3

(No, I'm not feeling my best tonight... But, I'll be okay. I think. *smooch*)

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Though I Will Never Meet You

I have many favorite quotes, but today, one popped into my head and it won't come out. I can't say I mind, but it would be crazy of me not to share, because it's a quote meant to be shared. And it's one that has meaning to me on so many levels--I hope that it speaks to you, the way it spoke to me.

Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free.

I shall die here. Every inch of me will perish. Every inch but one. An inch... It is small, and fragile, and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us.

I hope that, whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and things get better. But I hope most of all that you understand that even though I will never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you.

If you haven't seen V for Vendetta, this is something you should change--but in the very least, you should watch this video. If it doesn't move you beyond words, then nothing will.

And now, I'm going to spend the rest of the day trying to get out of this funk.

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Writing, My Drug

So, the previous version of this post was very long and rambly and kind of emo. Such happens when I let myself write when the BBoA is nibbling on my toes. D;

For brevity's sake, here's what the post said without all the mumbo-jumbo:

I'm considering starting a new blog. Yes, a Sims blog. No, not a new story. Confused? Read on.

Desperate Sims is becoming very... complicated. Don't get me wrong, I don't see this as a terribly bad thing. In fact, some may see it as a very good thing! Unfortunately, the problem I'm beginning to face is that what I'd like to write about the Kanes can no longer really be contained in the story, which is beginning to focus heavily on Drama and Plots. It leaves me very little room to do anything that isn't related to the overarching story.

So... What I'm kind of thinking is starting a bit of a Spin-Off, like a journal told from the point of view from one of the characters: Specifically, Margo. Basically, what I would do is slow down posts on Desperate Sims, but write numerous shorter entries on the second blog to give a glimpse of what's going down as it happens, through her eyes, as well as getting on opportunity to focus a little on more 'mundane' things.

Yes yes, I know, Margo's still a baby--that's why this is something I don't plan on doing for a while. (We're talking, several months.) I haven't even decided if it's a particularly good idea, which is why I'd like some input. Is this something worth pursuing? Or have I totally fallen off the deep end?

Honestly, I really, really want to be doing MORE writing--I'm seriously addicted to plotting and planning, I spend half of my times in daydreams about the Kanes these days--but updating Desperate Sims more often would honestly cause me to lose my marbles.

Soo... thoughts? Suggestions? Comments?

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I HAS ANOTHER NIECE!

At 11:11am this morning, Olivia was brought into the world!

She weighs a mere 1 pound 10 ounces, but apparently she's already a screamer, has some fuzz, and "is a peanut". (I take it to mean that she's 'tall' for her size.) She's a good three months premature, as she wasn't due until June 25th, but the doctors say that everything went better than they expected, so her chances are looking really good.

My sister is doing good as well; it sounds like she's more relieved than anything. (Possibly partly because she saved money on pregnancy clothes that can now go to itty bitty baby clothes? Hehe!) She's going to be able to be released within a few days, but probably won't be able to get back to work for a couple of weeks; I'm just sad that she won't be able to spend that time with Olivia, since she'll be stuck in the hospital 'til her "Due Date".

I'm still pretty worried for them both, but I'll be giving them another call later tonight to see how things are going. I'm not religious, but it's times like these that make me appreciate the small miracles of skilled doctors, improved medicine, and a newborn's ability to fight and survive.

On a side note: I'm pretty sure she was just itching to get out early because she saw her cousin Sydney and was jealous and just said, "Screw this belly, I WANT OUT!"

I love both those little girls... I just wish I was near enough to meet them in person.

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The Return!

All in all, my trip down to Minneapolis was a blast. I'm glad to be home, but it was honestly good to get out for a while... I haven't left town since December, which isn't really that long, but still felt a bit like an eternity for someone who used to drive to a different town just to go to school!

In order to not boringly narrate my entire trip, I'll just say that I went down to the premiere weekend of the Avalanche tour (Art of Dying, Halestorm, Theory of a Deadman, Skillet, with Stone Sour as the headliner); not really my kind of music, but it was my first concert, so who cares!

Did lots of shopping (can you say Mall of America?), and went to the Melting Pot for dinner one night, which--besides leaving me practically dead broke--was possibly the best food I've ever had. 3 course fondue?! Heck yes!!

Aside from that, not too much to say. Lots of hanging out with my buds (at least, I hope they consider me their bud?), lots of eating (and drinking), and spending ridiculous amounts of money. Though, I think the most amount of money I spent was at a place called Pure Pleasure, which... You can just guess for yourself what kind of store that is. Teeheehee.

And, despite how much of his money I spent, I still come home to find that not only did my husband buy groceries for our seriously empty fridge, he bought me new speakers for my computer.

All in all... a fantastic weekend.

Almost.

My sister was officially diagnosed with preeclempsia this weekend. She had to be airlifted to a different hospital to get better treatment, and it's looking very likely she'll have to have a C-section in a week or two. They're pumping her full of steroids to try to make sure the baby's lungs are developed before they operate (I believe she's 5 months pregnant, now),  and mentally she's doing okay, but I don't think I'll be sleeping well until this ordeal is overwith. I love my sister dearly, and I'm very worried for her and her baby girl.

Iggy & I on her wedding day. <3

I love you, big sis.

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Tucker'd Out

I swear, sometimes it feels like the Black Beast of Aaargh has me by my ankles, and just keeps on wanting to drag me deeper. Despite how little I've had on my plate the last week--basically just one drawing I need to have done by the 1st--I feel... exhausted.

Pretty sure that's from sitting here too much. So! I have made a new resolution to myself! And, that is to get my butt out of my study and get some fresh air! Now that the Season 4 Synopsis is done (I don't particular care about getting 5 done anymore, it can wait a few weeks), there's one more thing I'm going to post (that some of my fellow bloggers will likely greatly appreciate), and then I am shutting off my computer! And I am leaving it off for a week!

Should be fairly easy. I leave Friday morning and return Monday evening from a concert down in Minnesota (it's to see some bands I've never even heard of before, but I don't really care), and then I'm going to come home, and I am going to ignore my computer for two or three days. It's not hard, Kaleeko. You can do eet!

Before that though, I really NEED to get this drawing done. Need, need, need. I told someone I'd have it done for their anniversary, and they gave me the option to do it for a birthday instead and I declined. Declined because I'm going to get it done. I'M GOING TO GET IT DONE. It's not even that hard, I just rock at procrastination!! GAAAH.

Also, I've got a little tutorial thing written/drawn up that's going to be appearing in the next issue of the TSS Insider, which is a little magazine thing that the forums I frequent are putting out as updates to what's going on on the site. If you guys have any ideas for tutorials, guides, or anything else of that nature that you'd be interested in seeing, lemme know so I can add it to my list of things to do in the future.

In any case... It's late but I'm gonna go shower, light some candles, do some yoga, and then maybe--just maybe--I'll get to sleep on time.

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Nooshta, Zahnoo!

Pretty sure I've heard my Sims say that at some point or another.

In any case, haven't updated this blog in a bit for a variety of reasons; been working overtime getting this season of Desperate Sims finished, been trying (and failing) to get the house spring-cleaned, been stressing over the fact that I had to renew my Visitor's Visa...

... which is TERRIBLY ironic, because the day after I turn in the freaking paperwork, my friends ask if I want to go down to the States to go to a concert in three weeks. Which means, if I go, that's $70 bucks down the toilet. Oh, fate, how thou curses me!

So anways, I guess not a LOT else has been going on. Doing the "procrastination dance" on all the artwork I have to do--an anniversary picture for my husband's BFF, artwork for my guild's website, this thing I meant to do for Christmas for my friend--and doing a buttload of writing. You don't even want to know how many posts are in Draft on my Desperate Sims blog.

Which is great, actually. Once Season Five is done, I am turning those puppies to auto-post and I am taking a holiday from writing in order to a) do the stuff I NEED to do, and b) get as far ahead into Season Six as I can. I already have the thing outlined, so at least I know where it's headed. And it is going to be pure awesome. Because I said so.

I also have all the screenshots I need to finish off this Season, which means once I get the brainpower to sit down and finish those off, I am home-free for probably 1-2 weeks. That's a solid amount of time for a break.

I haven't a clue when SILC is going to be gearing up, but it appears like it'll be soon-ish, so I've also got that to start planning for and fitting into my schedule. ("What are you talking about Kaleeko, you haven't a job or a social life--so... no schedule.") Shoosh, Evil Me!

Which reminds me, I made this little PNG as my profile thingie for the Mods page on the SILC site:

Nothing to promote how much I love literature more than misspelling and over-using adjectives! Oh yeah, baby. (At least I finally ended up with a Simself that looks sorta like me. Sat in windowed mode with several pictures of myself for like half an hour trying to get it right. :P )

Anyways... Now that I've thoroughly rambled the Internet Ether's ear off, I'm gonna go find some chocolate.

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Laundry Day!

I. Hate. Laundry.

It's a bit ironic, actually; as a chore, laundry is probably the least intensive. You spend most of the time just waiting, biding time, while waiting for things to dry... And folding clothes takes like, what, 20 minutes? Max? And that's probably just because I'm a terrible clothes-folder.

Still, the very act of separating clothes, wobbling up and down the staircase with a full basket every hour, inevitably getting laundry gunk under my fingernails, and having my dog shed all over freshly-folded clothes (she likes to sneak and lay on them when I'm not looking) is just not my cup of tea. It's still better than washing dishes and scrubbing bathtubs, but honestly. Laundry. Ugh.

So, anyways, I was doing laundry today and I thought of a couple pretty funny little jokes about my current laundry habits that I mused might make cute little comic strips. I know I'm going to make at least two, but here's the first:

So, this isn't exactly how it happened, but the facts are this: my husband once had some shirts I wanted, they shrank, and now I wear them.

And, they did shrink because I really don't know how to run a washer properly.

In any case, I'm getting a lot better at making sure I don't completely miniaturize my husband's wardrobe, but I do have to admit: I've been buying smaller-sized shirts in the men's section lately. I'm not that much of a fashionista, and stuff made for guys is just way more comfortable. I really don't understand why--and I'll be honest... It may all just be in my head.

So! Is the comic cute? Do you want to see more? I'm tempted to do comics as a pretty common thing (though not too common, I don't know if I'm ready to start myself a webcomic yet), and they're really fun to do, so if you have any comments/suggestions I'd love to hear 'em.

Until next time... Cheerios with bananas!

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New Theme! Finished Drawing! Yay!

So, if you didn't notice, the sketch I posted last time is now finished, and location right to the left of the inner blog! There she will sit and stare at you whilst thinking dirty things...

... Kidding! Well, the thinking-dirty-things part, at least. I finished the site theme, and while it may *look* sloppy, that's the whole darn point! My physical journal is a bit messy and chaotic, which is exactly what I want my internet nook to be like.

Also, I realize it may not fit on smaller resolution screens very well... Unfortunately, there wasn't much of any way I could get around that without sacrificing the idea entirely, sooo... I hope that if it looks unhappy on your screen, that you forgive me.

In any case, I have a LOT to do today, such as writing (DS fans, rejoice!), and cleaning (forgive me, oh Kitchen!), so I should stop procrastinating and get to it.

So, for now... adios, amigos!

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Adulthood Sucks

Before my title gets me in too deep: not everything about adulthood sucks. I could give a very long, beautifullly annotated list of reasons why being an adult is 100x better than being a kid, but for all intents and purposes: right now, adulthood sucks.

The first and possibly most frustrating to me is that I don't feel like an adult. I don't look like one, I don't talk like one very well... In fact, I'm pretty sure that feeling you got in Junior High where nothing seemed to 'fit right' still hasn't worn off for me. Sure, we all feel a little awkward sometimes--I realize this--but we're talking, I'm so bloody shy in person I can barely carry a conversation, and I'm so retarded in voice chat that, as an example: tonight one of my guildies meant to refer to one of his buds as a 'douchebag', but instead it came off sounding like he called me a douchebag, and the best comeback I could come up with is "Yeah, well, I don't really care, because if I ever saw you in person I could just.. you know.. slap you across the face!"

What am I, freaking five years old? Actually--I'm pretty sure five-year-old me could've come up with something better than that. So. Freaking. Retarded. I'm pretty sure I need to buy a dictionary of petty jabs, or at least take sarcasm lessons from an emo kid, because even, "Yeah, well, your face is a douchebag." would've been better than that.

Actually... That would've been hilarious. Why didn't I think of that?! ARGH!

So anyways, yeah--my verbal shortcomings aside, I'm easily as clumsy on my feet, and tripping over them every five seconds doesn't exactly make the person at the liquor store believe my ID isn't a fake.

I guess that's one big reason why I've always loved writing+the internet so much. I've been roleplaying, writing, talking to random people on the internet since I was 11 years old, and generally people always guessed my age high because--in text--I'm able to communicate myself so much better. It's not even that I can take the time to think before I write, it's that my brain-to-mouth motor functions are useless and seeing people's faces mages me all nervous and crap.

If you still don't believe I'm a coward... *headshake*

Why else does adulthood suck? Well, I'm pretty sure the responsibilties suck more. These days I don't have many, but the one thing that's riding my grill is the fact I need to apply to immigrate to Canada, and the whole process confuses and frustrates the crap outta me. The whole fact that I'm married now is still sinking in, and part of me is just realizing now that by becoming a Canadian resident, things really are permanent between him and I. So not only am I mentally fracked, I'm emotionally fracked about it.

Another reason (though this isn't inherently about adulthood, more about being in a relationship for so long): husbands really suck at romantic crap compared to teenagers.

When I was in high school, my boyfriends rocked. They whittled me stuff out of wood, made me CDs of meaningful songs, gave me their sweater, exchanged gifts that--as cheap as they were--actually had meaning... Whereas I somehow managed to marry the one guy I've been with that's about as romantic as a fucking anglerfish. Don't get me wrong, I love him, but... *@*^%@*(%^!!! Seriously!!! I used to make extremely personal gifts, write songs and poetry, make jackets with patches and crap for my ex's... And I can't do that for my husband, because he's so freaking boring that I can't (*^@%*@^% because he's @&$&@%.

... Okay, sorry. Done ranting.

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Okay... That was kind of pointless, but I'm having trouble sleeping, and I thought it'd help if I just got all this off my mind.

Here's some possibly more interesting things to mention:

I changed the blog theme again because I'm going to be turning this into sort of a 'Work in Progress' blog for art and writing and I needed to find one that was clean enough and the right setup to do some of the artwork I want to mesh in nicely. I could've done it with the other one, but I like this one a little bit better, and I have to change less of the colors around. (Yes, I know they're almost identical. Shut up!)

I also totally reorganized my desk space because it was so cluttered and it annoyed the heck out of me, so I fixed it up and here's what it looks like now:

Where all the magic happens! Yeeaaa--aaahh!

In contrast, this is what my husband's computer space looks like:

Yes: my husband is a coke addict.

Don't tell him I showed you.


So anyways... I'm having a pretty rough night and since I can't get my husband to spare 2 minutes to hug me while I cry, I'll come do it here, where I don't have any expectations to be absolutely shattered.

Because, yep, in the end, the biggest suck of adulthood really is:

Realizing how everyone will always let you down in the end.

<./emo>

PS: I really do have a post for D.S. in the works,  and I feel bad it's taking so long--not even because people are waiting, but because I really WANT to write it--but I actually have had absolutely no time at all to myself today to work on it. So fracking frustrating.

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State of the Kal: Feb 5 Edition

With the Black Beast of Aaaargh! no longer rearing his ugly head--at least, for now--I'm starting to feel myself again, which means I'm feeling at least partially motivated today. It's not a lot, but it's enough that hopefully I can at least begin to start tackling some of the projects I have lined up for me.

My life's not exactly busy lately, but over the last couple of weeks I've gotten a lot of offers that may actually keep my head spinning for the next few months--which may be part of the reason the BBoA came to visit. In the past I've had a habit of biting off more than I could chew, so when it even feels remotely close to that I sort of freak out a little.

Yeah: I have the stress tolerance of a goldish living in a house with 10 cats. I only have to see the possibility of something going wrong to turn me into a floater.

But, with my depression and anxiety pulling back into their little shells for now, I've got the opportunity to work on some things that hopefully will keep me busy and happy for the next little while, and since I'm pretty excited (albiet nervous) about stuff I've got lined up, I'll do some sharing.

........................................................................

First, and probably the most relevant to anyone reading this: I got asked to help out with SILC, aka the Sims International Literary Conference. I can't say a lot about it right now since it's in the early planning stages and even I don't know a ton of the details, but basically, the SILC is going to be an online festival for writers in the Sims community to gather and share their work, participate in writing contests, win prizes, etc.

It won't be taking place until this summer (like I said, it's in the early planning stages) but in the meantime I'm working on some promotional stuff for the event, and later on will participate as one of the judges for the contests. I'm really, really excited, because this is an amazing opportunity to meet (hopefully) some great writers, to experience some Sims writing at its best, and to maybe even do some short stories of my own.

So, over the coming months I'll probably talk about it a bit more, but in the meantime, here's a few of the promotional images I cooked up:

For those of you interested in participating, keep your eyes and ears out for more news--though I'll try to keep some news posted on here as well for anyone interested.

........................................................................ 

Another thing I got asked to do was to to make a background image for my guilds forums using some of my uber drawing talent. At the moment, my guild is based in the game Warhammer Online, but that's likely to change relatively soon with the release of SW:TOR.

Keeping that in mind, I've gotta whip something together that embraces not only our past games but our future games, and make it awesome enough for a bunch of guys to stand staring at it for the next few months/years. So, basically I'm going to be doing two drawings--one for each side of the forum tables--and also create a matching header image to suit our guild, which is named "Virulent" because we're supposed to be all nasty hardcore like a deadly illness or something.

Considering most of my artwork has been happy-fluffy up to this point, this is going to be a bit of a challenge... But a good challenge. I need to break free of my current artistic trends! Web-design is nothing really new to me, but doing artwork specifically for a site is something I haven't done before... So... I guess I'll have to see how it goes.

Keep your eyes out for sketches and crap being uploaded periodically at a blog near you! (... This one, obviously.)

........................................................................ 

So, that's some of the things I have cooking up for the next little bit--on top of applying for my Canadian residency and possibly looking for a job, hopefully at a video game store--so hopefully it turns out to be some nice diversions from the aaarrrrggghh!!! generally permeating my life.

To go on a complete tangent, I'm currently trying to beat Assassin's Creed, but am thinking about skipping to Assassin's Creed II because the first one is a pile of horse-shit when it comes to content diversity--the only thing keeping me playing it is the story... which I can access online any time, so... nnngh. Pry skipping ahead soon.

That, and because Ezio is possible the sexiest man ever to be programmed into a video game. Mrowr.
I mean, look ---------------------->
That with a sexy italian voice... Mmmm.

I've also got one eye fixed on The Sims Medieval, which has been a rather small blip on my radar until recently, when they started revealing more information about the gameplay; I have to say, I'm actually kind of impressed, and sort of want to buy the game. I'm not sure I'll pick it up on release, but I'm very, very tempted. Dragon Age II, though, I am definitely picking up, as well as SW:TOR when it comes out.

I'm also trying to bring myself to play Starcraft II... But... Argh. I am just *so* terrible at RTS games. Instead, I've been playing such gems as Lego Harry Potter (I'm almost done completing every doo-bob in the game, woo!) and Ratchet and Clank: Tools of Destruction (Predator missles ftw!), which probably give me about as much nerd-cred as watching Desperate Housewives.

........................................................................

Anyways, that's enough ramblage for now. I hope, if not to get some story written, to get into my game and actually get some more "footage" (aka screenshots) taken for future posts, because hopefully that'll give me the pizzazz I need to get started again.

Until next time... Adios!

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7 Years of Art

In middle school, I picked up my very first sketchbook. It was absolutely terrible; it was the kind where they basically took a stack of computer pages and bound them together under a hard cover, which not only smudged horribly but started to fall apart within a couple of weeks.

But, by the end of junior high I had filled the entire thing cover to cover. There wasn't much of anything good in there--trust me, there wasn't--but the poor thing did have a torn cover, ripped pages, and smudged drawings for a reason! I'd fallen in love with art, even though I never imagined it'd be something I'd ever be good at.

So, below is a bit of a 'chronicle' to look back over my journey through art from when I started high school until now:

2004-2010 Improvement Meme by ~kaleeko on deviantART

(Yes, you have to click it to see it bigger!)

Here's some self portrait comparisons for an even better comparison of how I've progressed even just on one topic:

Ends in 2008, obviously.

The latest cartoon self-portrait I've done, from 2009. (Yes, Jennifer, you can see the two freckles! Hehe!

Course, it's interesting seeing how much I've changed physically on top of my art, but... It's really mostly just haircolor/length, ha! Yeah, I still look 12.

Yet, even a lot about my art hasn't changed. I still haven't learned how to correctly use color and shading, as all my drawings seem to look like I puked up a rainbow regardless of how the environment effects colors... The last four pieces I've done turned out fairly well in that regard, but they still aren't perfect. I have a loonng way to go, and it doesn't even have anything to do with my technical skill at drawing. Just coloring. Gah! I have so much work to do!

Alas, before I start rambling about how bad my art is--which, yes, you may disagree, but I'm no DaVinci yet--I will say that I am proud of what I've accomplished. I really have gone SO far... I mean, if you compare the above image to this:

there's a huge difference, and that's just over the course of 1 year. A year from now, I could be doing something even better...

But not if I keep pansying around like I am now. I did a grand total of 4 drawings last year. Four. All of them were done within 3 weeks of each other, and that was the end of it. It's incredibly disappointing for my progress in art, because if I'd actually spent that year trying to progress, I'd be in a much  better state than I am now.

Why did I stop drawing? Well... As most things in the world: it's complicated. Between battling depression, losing my 'muse' (I quit Mu*ing for good), my Mac dying and taking forever to get my PC set up to do art,  I lost the will to jump back on the horse. When you've got nothing to draw, no reason to draw, and no energy to draw, the floor falls out from under you and you basically even forget it's even an option. And, to myself, I'm sorry that I forgot--art was always one of the few things I always felt proud of, because it's the one skill I had in life that never came to me naturally. I had to work my butt off for it.

So, in a way, you could say that this is my New Years' resolution: belated, but worthy. Somehow, I'm going to stop being a pussy and I'm actually going to draw. I don't care what, or even how many... But I need to do it. Not only is it one of the things that makes me feel truly happy, but it could open up a lot of opportunities that I never imagined. I'll never know unless I try.

If you're curious about seeing more of my artwork and didn't figure out how from the link on the first compilation image, here's a link to my gallery on deviantART. Warning, lots of dragons. (I played on a Pern RPG and lots of people asked me to draw their shit. I didn't mind, but it stunted my variety a bit...)

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My Puppy Dawg

This is a bit of an old picture from Christmas, but I never did get around sharing it anywhere:

As a little backstory: the man in the Santa suit runs my town's Local Dog Rescue, and is actually the man who rescued my dog (Raven) from her abusive home.

The lady (couple?) that used to own Raven was mentally handicapped, and unfortunately it meant that they were very neglectful owners. At the time they owned Raven, they also owned another dog, who they tied to a street corner--where it was stabbed to death. Raven was repeatedly left tied to the doorhandle of their home when they left, as well as probably underfed, locked away, and possibly even abused.

With the help of this couple's social worker, Raven was able to be gotten out of the home, but since then they've acquired several more puppies who are currently being underfed, caged, and are--from the sounds of it--hairless and mangy. Unfortunately, the couple dumped their social worker and there is now little hope getting those dogs out before they suffer permanent damage. It saddens me, but at the same time it makes me happy that Raven was rescued when she was.

Raven is overall an incredibly wonderful dog. She does have some problems, such as incredible separation anxiety, which leads to destructive behavior when we're gone--and even self-destructive behavior when kenneled, as she has proven that she's willing to cut herself up trying to escape a kennel. She's also insanely possessive of both toys and people, and has been known to get fiesty if any dog so much as looks at me cutely.

But, overall I'm not sure where I'd be without her. She's been my companion almost since I first moved here, and has kept me company through the lonely hard times I've had neglecting attempting a social life--and she's my first pet, ever! So I probably adore her more than I've adored anything else I've ever owned.

The look of dooooooooooooom...

Give... me... stick... Mrrrr!!!

So yeah. That's my dog. LOVE HER OR DIE!

... Just kidding. Sort of. >.>

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Here I Be!

I decided it was high-time to re-invest in a corner of the internetz to ramble on. I've had various blogs over the past 5 years, but most have died away from either neglect or utter ineptitude in my ability to hide personal information that inevitably got leaked. Such it is in the age of Google. RIP, privacy.

Still, as someone who practically lives to write, I'm opening up this here blog just as a place for thoughts, ramblings, rants, raves, and other manner of things. I'll probably spout off tangents about my game--as that's where most of you will probably find this blog from--but this blog won't exclusively be about them, so if you care little about the person writing said story you probably won't enjoy reading this very much.

That being said, don't expect much out of this blog. It's more or less going to be an online journal, so I don't take any responsibility for anything I may say or post that you disapprove of or disagree with. Keep an open mind, and keep a smile on.

Cheers!

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