The 10 Day Meme: Day One

I was recently looking at a friend's art blog and caught something really interesting that I thought might be really thought-provoking to do. She used the word 'therapuetic' to describe it, and I have to agree: it's one of those memes that forces you to do a lot of thinking about who you are and your relationships towards other people.

A few years ago, I used to do things like these all the time, but there was only one thing consistent about them: my answers seemed to change. A lot. There's always that period in your life where you're searching for who you are, and finally, in my early 20's, I'm marginally beginning to figure out what that is. I think that's part of the reason I wanted to start this journal blog--as a place to really think about how my ideals have changed over even just the last couple of years. When you're in a state of flux, sometimes it's nice to sit down and consider things that may be concrete to hold onto.

Anyways, here's the questions the meme poses:

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot(in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Now knowing me, I probably won't do this in 10 consecutive days, but I'm going to try to tackle it--and try to tackle it as concisely as possible. I have a habit of boring even myself.

Warning: Harsh language not typical of kaleekos following here. 

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Day One 

Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

1. You showed me the light, and I showed you the door. There's no hell I could suffer to even the score between us--but for what it's worth, I never stopped loving you, and I never will.

2. I wish I could say I was sorry for blaming you for everything, but I'm honestly not. You deserve every ounce of hatred I have for you, and I don't think I'll ever forgive you. My life would have been better if I'd never known you.

3. Man, if you weren't such a dirty slut I think we actually could've been pretty good friends. But instead, you break everything you touch, and I'd rather not have my life be in your hall of disgusting conquests. Still--I wish you the best.

4. It wasn't your fault. I was scared and self-centered, and afraid of caring for you because I couldn't take care of myself--and now I've wasted far too much of my life missing you and not doing anything about it. I'm so sorry.

5. There's someone out there for you somewhere, and I'd give anything if I knew how to find them. Please don't give up. Please remember how amazing you are.

6. Stop avoiding her. You love her and she loves you--no one's perfect, especially not you. If you let stupid shit like this separate you from that relationship, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

7. You're such an unbelievably huge prick. There's a reason I cut you out of my life, and the sooner you start realizing what you're doing wrong, the better--too bad I won't help you, because you already did enough to try to screw me over, and now I don't care anymore.

8. You're dangerous for me. I push and I pull because I'm scared, because I know what I'm capable of--it's not because you're a bad person or because I don't want you in my life. I just think I might want you too much, and I know I shouldn't.

9. You have no clue how you affect everyone around you, and it makes me SO mad. You're such a hypocrite and you don't even act like you're trying to change. I love you, and I forgive you for who you are, but you need to take a step back and look at your life before it's too late.

10. I need you. I need you so much it hurts, so much that life without you wouldn't be life at all. I just wish you needed me as much as I need you.

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