The 10 Day Meme: Day Five

Blargh! So, this one's gonna be the post of Epic Fails; if you don't want to know how epically I'm capable of failing, then you probably don't want to read this. This actually is probably the grimiest of the 10 posts, so um... Prepare for angst, low self-esteem, and generally emo-ness. (I guess that's generally the procedure when talking about mistakes, right?)

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot(in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

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Day Five

Six things you wish you'd never done.

1. Drop out of college.
So, at the beginning of my Senior year of High School, I was all but conquered and defeated by the great Black Beast of Aaaargh. I'd just moved to a new city, and ended up having to switch schools again at the semester (mostly because of the BBoA), and therefore it was pretty much a huge, Huge epic fail. A shrink, a summer, and a few bottles of happy pills later, I was in college, and suddenly the BBoA was the Epic Black Beast of Aaaargh; long story short, I probably left my dorm building once a week and my bed only a few times a day.

It was a massive, massive waste of a grant and a student loan, and basically killed what little self esteem I had left to see myself, a straight-A student in high school, walk out on my dream. I know a lot of people that have dropped out that say it was a bad decision, but I can't even begin to explain the magnitude of an error both my attendance (or rather, lack thereof) and resignation of college was, nor how horribly it effected me. In fact, I almost wish I could put this down as #1-6, because it was that much of an epic fail.

2. Give up music.
I started the piano at 5; viola at 8; voice at 12. For the better part of my life, music was my life. But, in 6th grade I broke my wrist, and from there things went downhill. It never healed properly, so I gave up the viola when I was 16 so I didn't have to deal with the pain; I gave up the piano not long afterwards, once the BBoA took over my life; and I gave up voice when I moved away from home. Every now and then I still twiddle to see if I've still 'got it', but the answer is always "No". If I tried, I could 'ride the bicycle' again, but it'd never make up for the years wasted not improving myself.

Oh, and I should probably mention: I'm afraid of bicycles, too.

3. Move so far from home.
So after 'Epic Fail #1', I moved back home, and it sucked. The BBoA made it impossible to get a job, and being around my insufferable parents and their church was not helping. In a giant leap of courage, I moved from Washington up to Canada to live with my boyfriend. Now we're married, which is good testiment to the fact it was a good decision, but I really wish I hadn't done it so soon. I love my family, and I miss them; I wasn't exactly ready to spread my wings, either. I'm sure things worked out for the best, but there are some days I really wish I didn't have to save up money for two years just to see my sisters for a couple of days.

4. Date during my senior year of high school.
As I mentioned earlier about having to move right before my senior year, that last year of high school was epic failage. It would've been a lot better if the one guy I made friends with wasn't in my pants most of that year. I pretty much relied on him entirely for support and now one of the people I have the most in common with on the face of the planet absolutely hates my guts. Really wish we'd just been friends.

5. Gotten out of touch with old friends.
I have always been pretty awful about keeping in touch, especially because I'm not an overtly social person, but I've had a lot of wonderful friendships that wouldn't have fallen apart if I just had the balls to pick up the phone. I wouldn't be surprised if I've pretty much been labelled a 'serial flake' by my old friends.

Oooh. Serial flake... Cereal flake... Frosted flakes! I'm hungry.

6. Told my ex I still loved him.
A few months before my hubby and I got married, I ended up getting back in contact with one of my old loves, and... Argh. It was just so... fail. Our relationship had never really ended so the amount of loose strings going on was ridiculous, and one thing led to another and I basically turned what, yet again, could've been a good friendship into a giant let-down when I told him I still had feelings and then basically said, "I'm marrying the other guy anyways, sorry." Yeah. I'M A FUCKING RETARD, I KNOW. But it's gotta be bad to make the Top #6, right?--------------------

Anyways. The last 5 are totally gonna be happy. I promise!